"FLY ON THE WALL": Episode III

INT. UNITED CENTER - FRIDAY, MAY 28, 2010, 4:20 P.M.

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS PRESIDENT JOHN MCDONOUGH sits at his desk having a conversation on speakerphone. 

JOHN

So what's this big news you have for me?

INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. NHL SCOUTING COMBINE - TORONTO

FLORIDA PANTHERS GENERAL MANAGER DALE TALLON sits at a laptop computer talking on his cell phone.

DALE

They gave me a blog, John!

John rolls his eyes, makes a motion similar to this.

JOHN
Terrific, Dale. That reminds me actually ... Stan said we still need that laptop back from you.

DALE
Oh, right. Sure. I'll be sure to deliver it myself next week. I'm, um, actually putting the finishing touches on another post as we speak. 

INSERT - DALE'S COMPUTER SCREEN

BACK TO SCENE

JOHN
All right, sounds good, Dale. Look, I need to get ready for a radio interview here in a little bit so I'm gonna' have to let you go but congrats again on the gig and enjoy the combine.

DALE
Right, and I'll be sure that when I'm dropping the laptop off to bring you a printout of what LeBrun said about you so you can stick it straight up your——

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

John takes a deep breath, looks at his watch.

The speakerphone RINGS.

John GROANS, presses the button again.

JOHN
This is John McDonough.

CHICAGO CUBS PRESIDENT CRANE KENNEY
Well didn't take long to climb that mountain now, did it my friend?

John closes his eyes and nods.

JOHN

No, Crane. I guess it didn't.

CRANE
Yeah, real live success must be a wonderful feeling.

JOHN
Well, you just hang in there Crane and I'm sure that it'll turn around for you guys before you know it. Look, I'm actually getting ready to——

CRANE
(interrupting)
SWEET CHRIST, YOU HAVE TO GET ME OUTTA' HERE, MCDOUNOUGH! THIS FRANCHISE IS HOPELESS! AND THAT GUY'S GOT IT OUT FOR ME, I SWEAR! HE'S BEEN SAYING THINGS LIKE——

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

John takes another deep breath, looks at his watch again.

The speakerphone again RINGS.

John jabs at the button with his finger. 

JOHN
John McDonough.

CHICAGO WHITE SOX GENERAL MANAGER KENNY WILLIAMS
'Bout time we had another Chicago team win a title here in the 21st century!

John shrugs his shoulders.

JOHN
Oh hey, Kenny. Nice of you to say, but I think we'd actually be the first in this city to seal the deal. I mean, I know we were close when I was over there in 2003, but—— 

KENNY
Na-na-na-no, homeboy ... two years after that.

John strokes his chin.

JOHN
2005? We finished three games under that year.

KENNY
My side of town, man. C'mon, don't play me like that. Don't you remember the run we had? Eleven and one!

JOHN
Oh yeah ... right. I kinda forgot about that.

KENNY
Lotta' people sayin' your boys remind them of that team, actually.

John LAUGHS.

JOHN
Well, let's hope not.

KENNY
What?! Why?!

JOHN
Well hell, look at your attendance since then. Besides ... we're hoping to be compared to a dynasty, thank you.

(DISCONNECTION CLICK) 

John takes another deep breath, looks at his watch once more.

The speakerphone RINGS yet again.

John GROANS and presses down on the button.

JOHN
This is John.

CHICAGO BULLS GENERAL MANAGER GAR FORMAN
Hey there, pal. Happy one of us is putting the building to good use.

John scratches his head. 

JOHN
I'm sorry, with whom am I speaking?

Gar LAUGHS. 

GAR
Ha! I guess I sound different on the phone. It's Gar!

John shrugs.

GAR
You know, Mr. G.M. for the Bulls.

JOHN
Um ... you mean Pax? He's been in charge there for years now.

Gar SCOFFS.

GAR
I had lunch with you yesterday! We pass each other in the hall at least three times a day!

John throws his hands up.

JOHN
Look, I'm afraid I really don't know who you are and I'm incredibly busy, so I'm going to have to let you go, sir.

GAR
I WENT DOWN ON YOU LAST MONTH AFTER THAT BET WE MADE ABOUT——

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

John takes yet another deep breath, looks to his watch.

The speakerphone RINGS again.

John taps the button immediately.

JOHN

Yes?

CHICAGO BEARS PRINCIPAL OWNER VIRGINIA MCCASKEY
Happy days, Mr. McDonough!

John places his elbow on the desk and props his chin on his hand.

JOHN

Thank you, Virgina. I'm actually getting ready to——

VIRGINIA

(interrupting)

I was simply calling to wish you nothing but the best of luck, Mr. McDonough. I will be in attendance tomorrow evening and would love to spend some time privately with you to discuss some congratulatory services I might be able to offer you. 

JOHN

Uh ... well ... I'm sure we could——what exactly did you have in mind, Virginia?

VIRGINIA

Are you familiar with "The Long Stroke," Mr. McDonough?

(DISCONNECTION CLICK) 

John places his hands over his face.

The speakerphone RINGS yet again.

John immediately presses the button.

JOHN

(YELLING)
WHAT?!

CHICAGO WOLVES PRESIDENT MIKE POLISKY

Hey there, Mr. McDonough! On behalf of the entire Chicago Wolves organization, I just want to take this opportunity to extend the most sincere——

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

The speakerphone RINGS yet again.

John shakes his head.

JOHN

This must be a joke.

John presses the button.

JOHN

Make it fast, please.

CHICAGO MAYOR RICHARD DALEY

Oh! Did I catch you at a bad time, John?

John SIGHS. 

JOHN

Just a very busy man today, Mr. Mayor.

DALEY

How I do know that feeling! Look, I trust you saw the bet I made. And as you know I'm a huge fan and this is kinda last minute, but surely you can do what you gotta do there and get me some seats right behind the bench for some great photo-ops. I'm thinkin' maybe right behind "Toes" since he's the captain ... or I really like that "Bye-fooglie-yen" fella.

JOHN

Better luck with the next Olympics, Mr. Mayor.

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

John looks at his watch.

The speakerphone RINGS yet again.

He presses the button again.

JOHN

WHAT IS IT?!

JIM BELUSHI

Hey there! Did we need a Celebrity Captain again?

JOHN

NO! And thankfully, we can get real celebrities now.

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

The speakerphone immediately RINGS yet again.

John presses the button.

JOHN

TICKETS ARE SOLD OUT!

JOHN CUSACK

(SOUND OF POURING RAIN)
[INAUDIBLE]

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

Phone RINGS before John has even taken his finger off the button.

He hold it there for a moment, the phone still RINGING.

He finally releases his finger.

JOHN

Who could this POSSIBLY be?!

 RONNIE "WOO WOO" WICKERS 
Here, woo! Come, woo! Hawks, woo! Can I please get some——

 
(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

John takes his fingers slowly off the button, keeping his eyes on the phone as he pulls back further away.

He sinks back into his chair, closing his eyes and taking in the silence. He looks up to the ceiling. 

JOHN

Thank FUCKING God.

The speakerphone begins to RING.

John looks at the speakerphone, shakes his head.

JOHN

No. Forget it.

Speakerphone continues to RING.

John continue to shake his head, stands up.

JOHN

Nope, I'm done for the day!

Speakerphone continues to RING.

John walks away from his desk and grabs his jacket off a hook on the door.

JOHN

Holiday weekend. Call back Tuesday.

Speakerphone continues to RING.

John puts his jacket on, looks to his watch.

He SMACKS his palm over his forehead.

JOHN

Oh FUCK! The radio!

John runs back to his desk and presses the button on the speakerphone.

JOHN

My sincerest apologies for making you wait, this is John McDonough.

John waits for a response.

JOHN

Again I apologize, I really have been waiting for your call.

John closes his eyes and begins tapping his foot.

The voice on the other end CLEARS THEIR THROAT.

John opens his eyes and clasps his hands close to his chin as though in prayer.

The voice on the other end again CLEARS THEIR THROAT.

JAY MARIOTTI

See, now that's how all these front offices should answer the phone when I call.

(DISCONNECTION CLICK)

END SCENE