Week Three Power Rankings

I finished in second place for the pool last week (out of 16), going 12-4 with my picks and earning 114 points for the week. Additionally, the fellow who finished in first place for the week in the pool had been in dead last for the overall standings, so my performance helped move me up to a tie for second overall on the year (out of 16) at 313 points, only five behind the leader.

The big winner in predictions last week, however, was the bro-in-law with a 14-2 mark on his picks. Next best was Jason Cole from the Yahoo experts at 13-3—a record that Ron Jaworski of the ESPN bunch likely would have had as well had he submitted a pick for Monday's Dallas victory, but instead Jaws finished at 12-3. ESPN's Adam Schefter joined me at 12-4 for the week, while his co-workers Mike Golic, Merril Hoge, Chris Mortensen and Seth Wickersham all finished 11-5—as did Yahoo's Charles Robinson and Michael Silver. ESPN's Mark Schlereth and Eric Allen both went 10-6, while poor Pete Prisco of CBS Sports once again came up last with his 9-7 set of predictions.

Now, on the year (numbers in parentheses indicating where the dude stood in the rankings last week):

1. (1) Chris Mortensen, ESPN: 36-12 (.750)
2. (2) Charles Robinson, Yahoo: 35-13 (.729)
2. (4) Adam Schefter, ESPN: 35-13 (.729)
4. (3) Mike Golic, ESPN: 34-13 (.723)
5. (11) LEV, crazy colored glasses: 34-14 (.708)
5. (5) YOURS TRULY: 34-14 (.708)
7. (10) Ron Jaworski, ESPN: 31-14 (.689)
8. (11) Jason Cole, Yahoo: 33-15 (.688)
8. (5) Merril Hoge, ESPN: 33-15 (.688)
10. (5) Mark Schlereth, ESPN: 32-16 (.667)
10. (8) Seth Wickersham, ESPN: 32-16 (.667)
12. (8) Eric Allen, ESPN: 31-17 (.646)
12. (11) Michael Silver, Yahoo: 31-17 (.625)
14. (14) Pete Prisco, CBS Sports: 28-20 (.583)

Of course, the big news last week was that the Detroit Lions finally did win a game, so that certainly must mean that they will likely not be enjoying a season filled with being 16-point bets against them for the entire year (... maybe). Indeed, they'll have to find a different route to the top this season, while my bottom three just seems to be getting further entrenched into their securely held spots of suckdom:

1. (2) ST. LOUIS RAMS

• Last week: Lost to Green Bay, 36-17 (+11)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 39
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +39
  
• Just sayin':

What could be more encouraging than inheriting the dubious title of "the new Lions"?

1. (3) BUFFALO BILLS

• Last week: Lost to New Orleans, 27-7 (+13)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 10
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +39
  
• Just sayin':

Your lesson in cause & effect for the week: Bills lose home game = more arrests in Buffalo.

3. (5) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

• Last week: Lost to New York Giants, 24-0 (+15)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 34
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +34
  
• Just sayin':

Bring on the switch at QB in Tampa, as after a mere three weeks, they're saying the season is already lost.

4. (5) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

• Last week: Beat Buffalo, 27-7 (+13)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 32
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +32
  
• Just sayin':

Sean Payton's early answer to critics thinking the Saints' fate is solely determined by Drew Brees: 222 yards rushing against Buffalo and all three touchdowns scored on the ground.

5. (13) CAROLINA PANTHERS

• Last week: Lost to Dallas, 21-7 (+16)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 31
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +31
• Just sayin':

They're using the term "malaise" when describing the Panthers. That's a term that became synonymous with Jimmy Carter for a speech he made right before getting voted out of office (although the word was never actually in the text for the speech).

6. (12) BALTIMORE RAVENS

• Last week: Beat Cleveland, 34-3 (+14)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
  
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 30
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +30
• Just sayin':

They're moving on up the chart here, but ESPN's more conventionally logical Power Rankings has had them on top of the league for a couple of weeks now.

7. (11) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

• Last week: Lost to Philadelphia, 34-14 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +29
  
• Just sayin':

Sending Tyler Thigpen off to Miami and their QB situation in general would be a bigger issue if not for the more glaring problems on the offensive line.

8. (15) NEW YORK GIANTS

• Last week: Beat Tampa Bay, 24-0 (+15)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 27
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +27
  
• Just sayin':

If I haven't mentioned my inaugural fantasy football team much, that's mostly due to me starting that endeavor 0-3. Good news on that front is that Ahmad Bradshaw sounds like he's becoming New York's No. 1 guy on the ground, so maybe that will help me (but probably not).

8. (16) DALLAS COWBOYS

• Last week: Beat Carolina, 21-7 (+16)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 25
• Points scored for me with losses: 2
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +27
• Just sayin':

Tony Romo seems to get all of the attention, but it's Big D's running game that's really going to get the earliest test.

10. (16) CLEVELAND BROWNS

• Last week: Lost to Baltimore, 34-3 (+14)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 25
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +25
• Just sayin':

The Josh Cribbs argument isn't all that bad, actually. I mean, how could you really make it any worse in Cleveland?

11. (5) MINNESOTA VIKINGS

• Last week: Beat San Francisco, 27-24 (+5)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 24
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +24
  
• Just sayin':

Big Daddy Drew hilariously captures the conundrum involved with beings a Vikings fan last week.

11. (10) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

• Last week: Beat Miami, 23-13 (+6)
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 21
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 3
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +24
  
• Just sayin':

Just because San Diego remains a team I'm still iffy about, I instead present this video of former Charger Junior Seau getting run over by a bull:



13. (5) OAKLAND RAIDERS

• Last week: Lost to Denver, 23-3 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 4
• Points scored for me with losses: 19
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +23
  
• Just sayin':

There's the Raiders I know and love: "a textbook case of felony assault."

14. (1) DETROIT LIONS

• Last week: Beat Washington, 19-14 (-8)
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 8
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• Just sayin':

Last weekend's best headline.

14. (5) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

• Last week: Beat Arizona, 31-10 (+2)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 21
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• Just sayin':

So Dwight Freeney being out 2-3 weeks is ... good news?

14. (14) ATLANTA FALCONS

• Last week: Lost to New England, 26-10 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 7
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• Just sayin':

The returns of Jerious Norwood and William Moore should help the actual team when facing the Niners after coming back from the bye week, although my fantasy team would appreciate that more celebrated version of Michael Turner (the one that scores, you know, touchdowns) showing up at some point.

17. (16) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

• Last week: Lost to Chicago, 25-19 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 12
• Points scored for me with losses: 9
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
  
• Plus/Minus: +20
• Just sayin':

Not exactly the early season symbolism I was expecting: a taped-up groin.

17. (20) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

• Last week: Beat Kansas City, 34-14 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 15
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 5
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +20
  
• Just sayin':

Is the third time a charm with Jeremiah Trotter? And does that mean Jeff Garcia gets to perform a mid-season rescue somewhere else?

19. (3) WASHINGTON REDSKINS

• Last week: Lost to Detroit, 19-14 (-8)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 16
• Points scored for me with losses: 10
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 8
• Plus/Minus: +18
  
• Just sayin':

Jim Zorn claims they're "getting better" at something, which is really remarkable after losing to a team that hadn't won since 2007.

20. (19) MIAMI DOLPHINS

• Last week: Lost to San Diego, 23-13 (+6)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 16
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +16
  
• Just sayin':

Three games into the year, Miami gets a QB quandary to wrestle with for ... oh, probably the rest of the season.

21. (21) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

• Last week: Beat Atlanta, 26-10 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 23
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 11
• Plus/Minus: +12
• Just sayin':

I saw Brady getting a little pissed on the sidelines last Sunday and have to agree that the team "can't keep kicking field goals." Baltimore's probably not the best team to hope for the first signs of an offensive turnaround against though.

22. (23) DENVER BRONCOS

• Last week: Beat Oakland, 23-3 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 11
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +5
  
• Just sayin':

How many of the Denver Broncos' 17 start-of-the-season starting quarterbacks can you name? (I got five—Elway and the four following him).

23. (27) CHICAGO BEARS

• Last week: Beat Seattle, 25-19 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 9
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 9
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
  
• Plus/Minus: -1
  
• Just sayin':

I almost feel as though I jinxed the team by classifying that linebacking corps among "the elite" in my season preview. Now that group's in "limbo."

24. (26) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

• Last week: Lost to Minnesota, 27-24 (+5)
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 5
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 8
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: -3
  
• Just sayin':

Department of Odd Coincidences: In the last three games San Francisco has blocked a field goal, the Niners lost all three games.

25. (24) PITTSBURGH STEELERS

• Last week: Lost to Cincinnati, 23-20 (-3)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
  
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 8
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 12
  
• Plus/Minus: -4
• Just sayin':

The World Champs have dropped two in a row and so now they're starting QB is going to ... host Monday Night Raw?

25. (29) GREEN BAY PACKERS

• Last week: Beat St. Louis, 36-17 (+11)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 11
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 1
• Points taken from me with losses: 14
  
• Plus/Minus: -4
  
• Just sayin':

Yeah, yeah, yeah ... Favre, Favre, Favre, blah, blah, blah. How about we talk about that fucking Donald Driver catch instead, no?:



27. (21) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

• Last week: Beat Houston, 31-24 (-10)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 11
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 10
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: -5
  
• Just sayin':

The good news in Jacksonville is that last week's upset of the Texans supposedly improved the Jags' playoff prospects more than any other team in the AFC. If you're actually willing to put money on that, then we should talk offline because I'd certainly bet against that.

28. (25) TENNESSEE TITANS

• Last week: Lost to New York Jets, 24-17 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 8
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 14
• Plus/Minus: -6
• Just sayin':

Yeah, well, at least Albert Haynesworth's problems are somebody else's problems now, right?

29. (28) ARIZONA CARDINALS

• Last week: Lost to Indianapolis, 31-10 (+2)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 2
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 7
• Plus/Minus: -11
  
• Just sayin':

Sounds more along the lines of the story I was expecting from the defending NFC Champs this year: "Turning Victory Over to Defeat"

30. (30) NEW YORK JETS

• Last week: Beat Tennessee, 24-17 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 17
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: -17
  
• Just sayin':

You can only wonder when I'm going to learn, but considering they travel to play undefeated New Orleans this week, I'm not making any promises. If nothing else, it'll just further this low-end ranking and give fans something else to bitch about.

31. (32) CINCINNATI BENGALS

• Last week: Beat Pittsburgh, 23-20 (-3)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 17
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: -23
  
• Just sayin':

Best not to forget what happened two years ago as the Bengals have not been the usual "Bungles" of yesteryear (yet).

32. (31) HOUSTON TEXANS

• Last week: Lost to Jacksonville, 31-24 (-10)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 13
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 15
  
• Plus/Minus: -28
  
• Just sayin':

Meet the potentially record-setting defense.

My record by point value this season, with losing percentages only for two slots right now and still seeking my first one-point win:

16-point games: 3-0
15-point games: 3-0
14-point games: 2-1
13-point games: 2-1
12-point games: 3-0
11-point games: 2-1
10-point games: 2-1
9-point games: 2-1
8-point games: 2-1
7-point games: 2-1
6-point games: 1-2
5-point games: 2-1
4-point games: 3-0
3-point games: 2-1
2-point games: 3-0
1-point games: 0-3

Week Three Picks

In an effort to mix things up this week, I'm actually going to be assigning my point values here first, and then submitting them for the various leagues their in. So either the immediate pause of momentary regret I've seemed to experience immediately upon publishing the picks should be removed by the ability to actually change the desired value or I'm just shit out of luck.

Oh, but before I forget—those added numbers derived from the Power Rankings suggested an order I'm most certainly not going to be following, but hopefully I will remember to compare my actual picks to:

• 16—Jets over Titans
  
• 15—Skins over Lions
  
• 14—Giants over Bucs
  
• 13—Ravens over Browns
  
• 12—Saints over Bills
  
• 11—Texans over Jags
• 10—Chargers over Dolphins
• 9—Cowboys over Panthers
• 8—Broncos over Raiders
• 7—Colts over Cards
• 6—Eagles over Chiefs
• 5—Packers over Rams
• 4—Vikes over Niners
• 3—Falcons over Pats
• 2—Bengals over Steelers
• 1—Seahawks over Bears
  

Not an altogether unreasonable list, I suppose, but here's how I'm voting this week:

16 points
Dallas Cowboys (1-1) over Carolina Panthers (0-2)
+9/+2 : +24/22/+2 : 0/+15

Yep, wanna bet as high as I can on the Cowboys knowing that back-to-back prime time nationally televised losses is unthinkable—and if you're Jerry Jones, unacceptable.

15 points
New York Giants (2-0) over Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2)

+12/0 : +31/31/0 : 0/+19

The Giants restored a lot of that faith I had in them early last season, and I'd be more weary about such a seemingly pedestrian opponent later in the year. Right now, however, the G-Men want to begin gathering some of that Super Bowl buzz.

14 points
Baltimore Ravens (2-0) over Cleveland Browns (0-2)
+16/0 : +27/27/0 : 0/+11

This, like, never gets old for me:



13 points
New Orleans Saints (2-0) over Buffalo Bills (1-1)
+19/0 : +35/25/+10 : +10/+16

Buffalo's only hope is that the weather's ungodly and a dome team can't adjust to the elements. Maybe then Drew Brees would slow down, but as you can clearly see, I wouldn't bet on that.

12 points
Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) over Kansas City Chiefs (0-2)
+3/+5 : +22/19/+3 : 0/+17

The Chiefs make for a nice rebound from a home-opening asskicking at the hands of the Saints, and that Michael Vick fellow sounds interesting.

11 points
Green Bay Packers (1-1) over St. Louis Rams (0-2)
-14/-1 : +14/15/-1 : 0/+28

I've read about all the records St. Louis keeps setting for franchise-worst sorts of things, and while the Packers took a kick to the sack from Cincinnati of all places, I think Green Bay should probably be feeling pretty good again after this weekend.

10 points
Houston Texans (1-1) over Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2)
-5/-13 : +6/25/-19 : -6/+11

Yikes, three bad bets so far between the both of these teams, but the Texans' offense seemed to be living up to their hype last week while the Jags were letting Kurt Warner get over Week One's three turnovers by setting an NFL record for completion percentage.

9 points
Chicago Bears (1-1) over Seattle Seahawks (1-1)
-1/-9 : -1/3/+2 : +11/0

Oh Chicago, can we call it even for last week's misguided 9-pointer if I put the same amount on you this week rather than against you?

8 points
Washington Redskins (1-1) over Detroit Lions (0-2)
+16/+10 : +45/35/+10 : 0/+29

In all honesty, an agonizing pick. But I feel this is the most logical compromise. I've seen a few others (three of the boys from ESPN as well as all three experts from Yahoo) go with Detroit, but I'm determined not to start picking them yet. I'm expecting this to also be the case in the confidence pool where there will be a good variety of 16s for the Redskins opposed to a measly single-pointer for the Lions. Or, who knows, maybe everybody will bet something similar to me out of similar fears.

7 points
New England Patriots (1-1) over Atlanta Falcons (2-0)
+5/0 : +5/9/+14 : +14/0

I've finally gotta pick a loss for one of them, and I'm guessing that Foxboro's where the Patriots correct themselves and the Falcons get served a bit of a reality check after a fast start.

6 points
San Diego Chargers (1-1) over Miami Dolphins (0-2)
0/+11 : 0/4/+4 : -7/0

There's nothing quite like a deflating Monday night loss then having to get on a plane to go cross-country on a shortened week to play a team that's looking to offer its fans a mulligan following their own home opener letdown. Looks like last year's AFC East winners get to start the year 0-3.

5 points
Minnesota Vikings (2-0) over San Francisco 49ers (2-0)
+19/0 : +11/11/0 : 0/-8

Niners have been making me pay for betting against them every week, but they haven't played a defense like Minnesota's. Another reality check served.

4 points
Denver Broncos (2-0) over Oakland Raiders (1-1)
+7/-6 : +22/20/+2 : +4/+15

It's not like it ever is pretty in Oakland to begin with, but Denver's resembled a better team than the Raiders. Congrats to them, however, for somehow beating the Chiefs in the franchise's first victory in a game where they allowed more than 400 yards while gaining fewer than 200. That's pretty damn incredible. Not in a good way (says more about K.C., I suppose), but congrats all the same.

3 points
Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) over Cincinnati Bengals (1-1)
-1/0 : -15/9/-6 : -6/-14

Yeah, gotta keep those kitties from Cincy as low on this list as possible—at least until I get a better idea of which Bengals team I should be expecting. I'll go with history here, and that would suggest that Pittsburgh on all fronts.

2 points
Indianapolis Colts (2-0) over Arizona Cardinals (1-1)
+19/0 : +13/20/-7 : -7/-6

I'll keep factoring in that Super Bowl hangover whether it's showing signs of existence (Week One) or not (Week Two), but against Peyton Manning on Sunday Night, I'm guessing it exhibits itself in some way and the Colts pull off the upset.

1 point
Tennessee Titans (0-2) over New York Jets (2-0)
-13/+8 : -29/37/+8 : 0/-16

There ya go: That was the very first sign why I didn't want to follow the Power Rankings suggestions this week. While maybe the numbers would strongly indicate I should have learned about picking against the Jets, I just think that it's too easy to picture Jeff Fisher stealing a close road game at noon on a Sunday when everybody's looking for Michael Vick. Oh, I'm sure the Jets have heard enough about the temptation to sit on last week's accomplishment, but they'll be facing a Titans squad that simply is going to want it more.

Week Two Power Rankings

That was quite the brutal week last week. I went 10-6 on my picks, which would've been something along the lines of unacceptable had it not actually ended up being a pretty decent score of 82 points. That was good enough for sixth place (out of 16) in the pool's weekly contest, but helped me shake off the other two I was sharing that tie for fourth place (out of 16) with in the season's standings. I remain in fourth for the year with 199 points, only seven behind the overall leader.

As for the online prognosticators, nobody did better than Yahoo's Charles Robinson at 12-4. Both Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter of ESPN went 11-5; ESPN's Mike Golic and Merril Hoge were just like myself at 10-6; the bro-in-law, Yahoo's Michael Silver, ESPN's Eric Allen, Mark Schlereth and Seth Wickersham were all 9-7; Ron Jaworski had an 8-7 score and must hate not getting to pick Monday Night games since they're almost always gimmes; and bringing up the rear were Yahoo's Jason Cole and Pete Prisco from CBS Sports with some dreadful 7-9 marks.

Now, on the year (numbers in parentheses indicating where the dude stood in the rankings last week):

1. (1) Chris Mortensen, ESPN: 25-7 (.781)
2. (5) Charles Robinson, Yahoo: 24-8 (.750)
3. (2) Mike Golic, ESPN: 23-8 (.742)
4. (5) Adam Schefter, ESPN: 23-9 (.719)
5. (5) Merril Hoge, ESPN: 22-10 (.688)
5. (3) Mark Schlereth, ESPN: 22-10 (.688)
5. (5) YOURS TRULY: 22-10 (.688)
8. (5) Eric Allen, ESPN: 21-11 (.656)
8. (5) Seth Wickersham, ESPN: 21-11 (.656)
10. (12) Ron Jaworski, ESPN: 19-11 (.633)
11. (3) Jason Cole, Yahoo: 20-12 (.625)
11. (13) Michael Silver, Yahoo: 20-12 (.625)
11. (13) LEV, crazy colored glasses: 20-12 (.625)
14. (5) Pete Prisco, CBS Sports: 19-13 (.594)

And this week's Power Rankings of how teams are performing for me after two weeks indicates that two familiar favorites are back atop the listings. You will also note that I've begun to include the logical statistic of how I am faring at predicting a team's performance, since a team could in theory have the same record I had "predicted" for them but gotten both games completely wrong. I think you'll see what I'm talking about there, along with some "second thoughts" following Week Two's performances:

1. (5) DETROIT LIONS

• Last week: Lost to Minnesota, 27-13 (+15)
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +29
  
• Second thoughts:

We were feeling that terrible fear you get when the Lions actually have a lead and it suddenly looks like they might actually win a game. And then we checked the sheet and noticed not a single person picked Detroit and everybody had Minnesota for no less than 14 points. Oh, and then the Vikings went on to win, of course.

Welcome back, Motown. I'm guessing your helmet's pretty likely to stay here.

2. (9) ST. LOUIS RAMS

• Last week: Lost to Washington, 9-7 (+16)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 28
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +28
  
• Second thoughts:

Spent most of last season being Detroit's bridesmaid in these rankings, and their opening week performance seemed to indicate they'd still be tagging along. They didn't suffer the complete drubbing from the Skins that I'd expected, but there's still potential for them to reach the top of the list.

3. (1) BUFFALO BILLS

• Last week: Beat Tampa Bay, 33-20 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 10
• Points scored for me with losses: 16
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +26
  
• Second thoughts:

They're going to need the mother of all shitstorms to beat the Saints this weekend. Always good to be counting on the other team playing poorly in bad weather, of course.

3. (13) WASHINGTON REDSKINS

• Last week: Beat St. Louis, 9-7 (+16)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 16
• Points scored for me with losses: 10
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +26
  
• Second thoughts:

Speaking of the Skins, nothing makes me more edgy about picking them than narrowly getting by the Rams before a trip to Detroit. That recurring temptation I suffered last season seems to be resurfacing ...

5. (3) OAKLAND RAIDERS

• Last week: Beat Kansas City, 13-10 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 4
• Points scored for me with losses: 15
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +19
  
• Second thoughts:

How do you feel right now if you're a Raiders fan living in the Bay Area without a ticket for the game this Sunday? Better not plan on watching that one.

5. (5) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

• Last week: Beat Philadelphia, 48-22 (+5)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 19
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +19
  
• Second thoughts:

While you could nitpick about the quality of their first two opponents, Drew Brees isn't showing any signs of slowing down and you can only wonder when the Saints will finally hit a snag.

5. (11) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

• Last week: Beat Miami, 27-23 (+8)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 19
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +19
  
• Second thoughts:

It's pretty impressive when you can win a game while only being on offense for less than 15 minutes. But hardly impressive when the defense allowed the Dolphins to convert more than 70 percent of their third downs.

5. (15) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

• Last week: Lost to Buffalo, 45-27 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 19
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +19
  
• Second thoughts:

Still lots of potential here to move higher up in these rankings, possibly being another consistent loser that scores just as much for me as some of the real winners.

5. (19) MINNESOTA VIKINGS

• Last week: Beat Detroit, 27-13 (+15)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 19
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +19
  
• Second thoughts:

I guess some Vikings fans aren't happy that the team isn't showing up higher on more traditional Power Rankings, but Minnesota came out awfully slow against both Detroit and Cleveland—two teams that you're allowed to phone it in for a half. I'd like to see them try that shit with a bit tougher club.

10. (3) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

• Last week: Lost to Baltimore, 31-26 (+3)
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 15
• Points scored for me with losses: 3
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +18
  
• Second thoughts:

Injuries to Jamal Williams and Nick Hardwick aren't going to help a team that's already showing early signs of struggle.

11. (7) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

• Last week: Lost to Oakland, 13-10 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 17
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +17
  
• Second thoughts:

Yikes. I wonder when I'll want to play Matt Cassel in my fantasy league, but I'm guessing it's not likely to be anytime in the next four weeks as all of those games will be against NFC East opponents.

12. (7) BALTIMORE RAVENS

• Last week: Beat San Diego, 31-26 (+3)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
  
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 16
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +16
• Second thoughts:

FT-motherfucking-W:

13. (21) CAROLINA PANTHERS

• Last week: Lost to Atlanta, 28-20 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 15
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +15
• Second thoughts:

Taking the ugly way up the rankings.

14. (23) ATLANTA FALCONS

• Last week: Beat Carolina, 28-20 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +14
  
• Second thoughts:

They'd love to go into that bye week undefeated, but having to do it in Foxboro is one tall order.

15. (13) NEW YORK GIANTS

• Last week: Beat Dallas, 33-31 (+2)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 12
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +12
  
• Second thoughts:

I'm slowly regaining that confidence I had in them through most of last season, although it was certainly a bit concerning to see how often Dallas was able to bust out the big run.

16. (9) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

• Last week: Lost to San Francisco, 23-10 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 1-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 12
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
  
• Plus/Minus: +11
• Second thoughts:

They're in one tough spot early into the season with at least 10 starters being injured, but nobody on the injured reserve list for the season which would open up a spot and allow them to being in a player.

16. (15) DALLAS COWBOYS

• Last week: Lost to New York Giants, 33-31 (+2)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 9
• Points scored for me with losses: 2
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +11
• Second thoughts:

Getting Carolina at home this week followed by trips to Denver and Kansas City give the Cowboys hope that they can get some momentum going before going into the bye week.

16. (19) CLEVELAND BROWNS

• Last week: Lost to Denver, 27-6 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 11
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +11
• Second thoughts:

I'm not quite ready to bust out the sweatshirt yet, but that's mostly due to the weather not being cold enough to justify it. The way the team's played so far doesn't help either.

19. (23) MIAMI DOLPHINS

• Last week: Lost to Indianapolis, 27-23 (+8)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 10
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +10
  
• Second thoughts:

There's the consequence of winning the East last year: Now the Fins get the Chargers this week (not to mention the Steelers for the season finale), while the rest of the teams in their division get the still-weaker squads of the AFC West.

20. (21) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

• Last week: Lost to New Orleans, 48-22 (+5)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 3
• Points scored for me with losses: 5
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +8
  
• Second thoughts:

That bye week can't arrive soon enough, but if they've gotta play this week, at least the Chiefs don't present a challenge that seems insurmountable.

21. (1) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

• Last week: Lost to New York Jets, 16-9 (-11)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 1-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 16
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 11
• Plus/Minus: +5
• Second thoughts:

That's what I get for saying how confident I was before they failed to score a touchdown.

21. (11) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

• Last week: Lost to Arizona, 31-17 (-6)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 11
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: +5
  
• Second thoughts:

Pathetic performance against the Cardinals seems indicative of the way they manage to frustrate me every year.

23. (29) DENVER BRONCOS

• Last week: Beat Cleveland, 27-6 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 7
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +1
  
• Second thoughts:

Four straight games against 1-1 teams (at Oakland, vs. Dallas, vs. New England, at San Diego) before going into the bye week. They're riding high now, but I wouldn't be surprised to see them at .500 when their week off arrives.

24. (17) PITTSBURGH STEELERS

• Last week: Lost to Chicago, 17-14 (-9)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
  
• My predicted record: 2-0
• My record at predicting their record: 1-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 8
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 9
  
• Plus/Minus: -1
• Second thoughts:

So is that the reason the Bears put down such shitty turf? Works for me.

25. (17) TENNESSEE TITANS

• Last week: Lost to Houston, 34-31 (-13)
  
• Actual Record: 0-2
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 8
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 13
• Plus/Minus: -5
• Second thoughts:

Their defense looked positively awful against Houston and there's now justified cause for concern as to how the Titans are anywhere near as good as the 13-3 club they were last season.

26. (31) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

• Last week: Beat Seattle, 23-10 (-1)
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 8
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: -8
  
• Second thoughts:

I'm going to have to start respecting them more some time soon.

27. (25) CHICAGO BEARS

• Last week: Beat Pittsburgh, 17-14 (-9)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 9
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
  
• Plus/Minus: -10
  
• Second thoughts:

Slow down on any sort of championship talk there, my fellow Chicagoans. Yes, they beat the defending world champions, but again, based largely on two missed field goals. A win's a win for sure, but there's still a lot this team needs to prove.

28. (31) ARIZONA CARDINALS

• Last week: Beat Jacksonville, 31-17 (-6)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 7
• Plus/Minus: -13
  
• Second thoughts:

Kurt Warner completed a ridiculous 24 of 26 passes against the Jaguars. I've got five bucks right now saying he won't have a better game this year.

29. (25) GREEN BAY PACKERS

• Last week: Lost to Cincinnati, 31-24 (-14)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 1
• Points taken from me with losses: 14
  
• Plus/Minus: -15
  
• Second thoughts:

Nothing helps a team rebound from a loss to the Bengals quite like having the Rams as your next opponent. Aaron Rodgers will welcome more of a focus on running the ball.

30. (27) NEW YORK JETS

• Last week: Beat New England, 16-9 (-11)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 0-2
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 16
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
  
• Plus/Minus: -16
  
• Second thoughts:

Coach Ryan's got a message for you.

31. (27) HOUSTON TEXANS

• Last week: Beat Tennessee, 34-31 (-13)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 13
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 5
  
• Plus/Minus: -18
  
• Second thoughts:

This team was in such good graces with me last season. They had only cost me two points for the first 14 weeks of the year and then cost me a single point before taking a bit of a tumble those last few weeks. Here's to hoping they just got off to a slow start with me and regain their form.

32. (29) CINCINNATI BENGALS

• Last week: Beat Green Bay, 31-24 (-14)
  
• Actual Record: 1-1
• My predicted record: 1-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 14
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: -20
  
• Second thoughts:

Obviously not going to be the predictably bad squad I'm used to, and certainly appear to be over that Week One heartbreaker.

My record by point value:

16-point games: 2-0
15-point games: 2-0
14-point games: 1-1
13-point games: 1-1
12-point games: 2-0
11-point games: 1-1
10-point games: 2-0
9-point games: 1-1
8-point games: 2-0
7-point games: 1-1
6-point games: 0-2
5-point games: 1-1
4-point games: 2-0
3-point games: 2-0
2-point games: 2-0
1-point games: 0-2