Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before, Vol. 2

Of course, the week before that flattering e-mail I was talking about below, I was giving myself a birthday present by really laughing in print at the asinine anti-foie gras movement that had been gaining steam. The fact that there was actually legislation against a certain type of food production—and a small one in America, at that—was totally indicative of just how much time elected officials piss away.

My mentor told me he didn't agree with me and warned, "You're going to get some mail about this."

And, boy, he wasn't kidding.

Perhaps I was most flattered by actually having a senior writer from PETA take the time to tell me how much "compassion" I lacked. Come to think of it, a majority of the e-mails used that word—even though I'd specifically mentioned how much they overused the term.

Well, you could imagine my delight in the Chicago Tribune's recent coverage emphasizing the delicacy's final days in the Windy City. But today's editorial really got my day off to a good start with what could be a startling reality to the reality-deprived:

"So it could turn out that instead of reducing the local demand for it, the City Council may have made foie gras more popular than ever. In that case, the ducks won't be much better off."

Got that, veggies? You likely did more harm to one major city's economy—and all those precious ducks—than you did help.

For all the nauseating self-righteousness of your lost cause, I have but two delicious words: Eat it.