Um ... No

Paris Hilton needs you to "sihn" her online petition for a pardon because she knowlingly broke the law and is apparently not to be held to the same standards as the rest of the public. Still, she makes a very important public contribution:

"She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."

I saw her infamous sex video and that was about enough of this well-to-be tramp I needed to see. If my life's so "mundane" that I feel the need to help pardon a girl who can't even give a decent blow job, I'll call one of my old bad dates instead. They're probably harder up for the cash, anyway.

Can somebody start a petition wanting to send her to jail? I'd sign that.