Week Four Power Rankings

Last week was that one week when a pair of major upsets (thanks for nothing, Denver and Dallas) that led to the inevitable week where some girl crushes everybody else in the pool. It was bound to happen, I suppose. It's a good thing there's no money involved here.

I went 9-4 with last week's picks and scored 60 points (5th place out of 24) to bring my season total to 38-22 with 325 points (6th place out of 25).

As for my Power Rankings, I'm sure the fans in St. Louis have to be thrilled to know the Rams are ranked first somewhere:


1. (2) ST. LOUIS RAMS

• Last week: Lost to Buffalo, 31-14 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 0-4
• My predicted record: 0-4
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 51
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +51
• TEAM HAIKU:

Led the Bills halfway,
not only losing the game
but the coach as well

2. (1) NEW YORK GIANTS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 47
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +47
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

They had a week's rest,
but it is still three more weeks
until first true test

3. (7) NEW YORK JETS

• Last week: Beat Arizona, 56-35 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 2-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 23
• Points scored for me with losses: 5
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +28
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Favre went all ape shit,
in those hideous throwbacks
—and now Cincy? Wow!

4. (10) ARIZONA CARDINALS

• Last week: Lost to New York Jets, 56-35 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 2-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 13
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +27
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Anquan Boldin lives,
But the Buzzsaw can't survive
seven turnovers again

4. (5) PITTSBURGH STEELERS

• Last week: Beat Baltimore, 23-20 (+6)
  
• Actual Record: 3-1
• My predicted record: 4-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 28
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
• Plus/Minus: +27
• TEAM HAIKU:

Injuries aplenty
As long as Steely McBeam
stays healthy, all's good

6. (7) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

• Last week: Beat San Francisco, 31-17 (+8)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 3-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 23
• Points scored for me with losses: 12
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 9
• Plus/Minus: +26
• TEAM HAIKU:

Better than I'd thought
beating San Fran was a must
to stay atop South

7. (3) DETROIT LIONS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 33
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 9
• Plus/Minus: +24
• TEAM HAIKU:

At long last indeed,
Matt Millen was sent packing
—but he's a "nice guy"

8. (5) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

• Last week: Lost to Chicago, 24-20 (+1)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 9
• Points taken from me with wins: 1
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +22
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Loss to Bears hurt some,
but hosting the Skins Sunday
could be even worse

9. (4) GREEN BAY PACKERS

• Last week: Lost to Tampa Bay, 30-21 (-2)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 3-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 9
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 2
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

The games started streak
for Aaron Rodgers at risk,
Unlike someone else ...

10. (12) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

• Last week: Lost to New Orleans, 31-17 (+8)
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 11
• Points scored for me with losses: 12
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 3
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +20
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

.500 record
is good enough to top West,
still long way to go

11. (7) CLEVELAND BROWNS

• Last week: Beat Cincinnati, 20-12 (-5)
  
• Actual Record: 1-3
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 24
• Points taken from me with wins: 5
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: +13
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Ohio's best team
gets the honor of losing
to the champs this week

12. (17) HOUSTON TEXANS

• Last week: Lost to Jacksonville, 30-27 (+3)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 14
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 2
• Plus/Minus: +12
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Still winless this week
and now playing rested Colts,
still winless next week

12. (18) MINNESOTA VIKINGS

• Last week: Lost to Tennessee, 30-17 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 20
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 8
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +12
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Heading to 'Nawlins,
Record could have been better,
I won't complain though

14. (26) BUFFALO BILLS

• Last week: Beat St. Louis, 31-14 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 4-0
• My predicted record: 2-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 26
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 15
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +11
• TEAM HAIKU:

Who could have foreseen
the day when a team led by
Dick Jauron can't lose

14. (14) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 3
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: +11
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

A merciful break
for a team that stunningly
has not won at home

16. (12) TAMPA BAY BUCANEERS

• Last week: Beat Green Bay, 30-21 (-2)
  
• Actual Record: 3-1
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 4
• Points scored for me with losses: 15
• Points taken from me with wins: 9
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +10
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

While I can admit
respecting John Gruden's way,
the Bucs still screw me

17. (25) ATLANTA FALCONS

• Last week: Lost to Carolina, 24-9 (+9)
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 5
• Points scored for me with losses: 13
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 9
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +9
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Please let it be heard
that I'd enjoy the return
of the "Dirty Bird"

17. (21) BALTIMORE RAVENS

• Last week: Lost to Pittsburgh, 23-20 (+6)
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 13
• Points scored for me with losses: 6
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 10
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +9
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

It's still a wonder
how they lost this past Monday
but more wins shall come

17. (22) OAKLAND RAIDERS

• Last week: Lost to San Diego, 28-18 (+7)
• Actual Record: 1-3
• My predicted record: 0-4
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 22
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 13
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +9
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Ghastly Al Davis
looks more decrepit each year,
just like his sad team

20. (18) MIAMI DOLPHINS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 23
• Points taken from me with wins: 15
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +8
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

A full week to boast
about thumping favored Pats,
now go back to bad

20. (23) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

• Last week: Beat Oakland, 28-18 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 3-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 11
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 2
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 5
• Plus/Minus: +8
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Flirted yet again
with disappointing me more,
but lots of time left

22. (11) DENVER BRONCOS

• Last week: Lost to Kansas City, 33-19 (-13)
  
• Actual Record: 3-1
• My predicted record: 4-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 15
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 13
  
• Plus/Minus: +2
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

A crushing defeat
—to the winless Chiefs, no less!
Thanks a lot, fuckoes

23. (14) DALLAS COWBOYS

• Last week: Lost to Washington, 26-24 (-11)
  
• Actual Record: 3-1
• My predicted record: 3-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 17
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
• Points taken from me with losses: 11
• Plus/Minus: EVEN
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Please prevent T.O.
from opening his yapper
anymore this year

24. (26) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 10
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 11
• Plus/Minus: -1
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

They make me queasy
like I can't trust them at all,
though loss seems safe bet

24. (16) WASHINGTON REDSKINS

• Last week: Beat Dallas, 26-24 (-11)
  
• Actual Record: 3-1
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 3
• Points scored for me with losses: 16
• Points taken from me with wins: 20
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: -1
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Was just beginning
to develop a liking
'til they beat Big D

26. (28) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 13
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 15
• Plus/Minus: -2
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Not buying last loss,
as even Miami wins
once every year

27. (23) CINCINNATI BENGALS

• Last week: Lost to Cleveland, 20-12 (-5)
  
• Actual Record: 0-4
• My predicted record: 2-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 16
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 20
• Plus/Minus: -4
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Depression runs deep
but at least fans in Cincy
have Ocho Cinco

28. (20) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

• Last week: Beat Denver, 33-19 (-13)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 17
• Points taken from me with wins: 13
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 13
• Plus/Minus: -9
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

I knew Herm would win one day,
but Denver was not
what I had in mind

28. (29) CHICAGO BEARS

• Last week: Beat Philadelphia, 24-20 (+1)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 4-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 4
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 13
• Plus/Minus: -9
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Just as I had said,
the Monsters of the Midway
thrive as underdog

30. (31) CAROLINA PANTHERS

• Last week: Beat Atlanta, 24-9 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 3-1
• My predicted record: 2-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 9
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 11
• Points taken from me with losses: 8
• Plus/Minus: -10
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Handled A-T-L
but I remain skeptical
for who knows how long

30. (30) TENNESSEE TITANS

• Last week: Beat Minnesota, 30-17 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 4-0
• My predicted record: 1-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 4
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 14
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: -10
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Last week's win was fine
but going to play Ravens
sounds like some trouble

32. (32) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

• Last week: Beat Houston, 30-27 (+3)
  
• Actual Record: 2-2
• My predicted record: 3-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 3
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
• Points taken from me with losses: 14
• Plus/Minus: -17
  
• TEAM HAIKU:

Needed overtime
just to beat freaking Texans,
screw job imminent