Once More, With Feeling

Do you remember how last year, right about this time, I was hopelessly looking for a real job and reluctantly decided to accept my uncle's invitation to participate in the local canoe race before actually going through with it and ultimately losing my cell phone?

Yeah, well ... despite bridge construction in Batavia cutting the length of the race in half, I'm coming back for a second round next Sunday. This afternoon, my uncle and I took the canoe out to re-familiarize ourselves with the basics.

At least I'm not desperately looking for a job this year—just a better one.

Problem Solved! (Vol. 2)

... well, kind of "solved" anyway. Let's put it this way: I'm getting paid again. My work schedule jives well with GF's and I'm actually getting these things called a "salary" and "benefits." Better still is that I no longer have to wear a nametag or some sort of lame universal uniform to the office, a 13th floor location in Chicago that allows me to walk down LaSalle Street and see this view every morning:


So I like going into the office.

And while all of that felt great for, like, a week or so, I've come to realize that the money, the commute, the view, you know, "all that shit," doesn't really mean too much when you don't like what you do every day. In my case, yes, there's rewarding parts to talking to people looking for jobs and trying to help find them work in Chicago. But the roughly three-quarters of my day spent making cold calls to businesses to see if they're hiring? Not so much.

Still, it's not like there's quotas to be met or anything. I keep in mind that so far, I'm told that my performance is ahead of new hires. That's comforting, but I'm still looking. For now, I can make a good buck while basically living with GF over near Wrigleyville and waiting for something more satisfying to present itself. I still trust that it will not be long.

Problem Solved! (Vol. 1)

And so ends my YouTube dilemma ...

Um ... No

Paris Hilton needs you to "sihn" her online petition for a pardon because she knowlingly broke the law and is apparently not to be held to the same standards as the rest of the public. Still, she makes a very important public contribution:

"She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."

I saw her infamous sex video and that was about enough of this well-to-be tramp I needed to see. If my life's so "mundane" that I feel the need to help pardon a girl who can't even give a decent blow job, I'll call one of my old bad dates instead. They're probably harder up for the cash, anyway.

Can somebody start a petition wanting to send her to jail? I'd sign that.

Coincidence?

In case you haven't heard, Rush Limbaugh has been getting a bit more attention as of late thanks to another one of his wildly creative, ahem, "musical parodies," this one entitled, "Barack, The Magic Negro." He's proud of manufacturing it, of course. I think Tom Tomorrow covered this area of public discourse quite nicely not too long ago:

"Maybe Coulter’s explanation for that little “faggot” remark really should be taken at face value: it was a schoolyard taunt — which is all these people are apparently capable of."

All that considered, should we really be the least bit surprised to see whom Republican congressman Ted Poe decided to quote the other day—on the floor of the House, no less? It's not surprising to me that there are some people who aren't overly offended by these types of remarks ... it's just a little disturbing to think of how many would, in fact, support them.

I've Got Issues

Back before Blogger went all "beta" (whatever the hell that means), it was quite simple to put up a video from YouTube. There were no problems whatsoever.

But now YouTube and Blogger "beta" are apparently at odds, because despite my repeated attempts to post this video on the blog, YouTube refuses to cooperate and neither service is particularly helpful in their FAQ sections as to how I can resolve the issue.

So humor me by pretending there's an actual video in this space. That, or give me some suggestions (other than e-mailing the services, because, yes, I tried that) in the comment space.

UPDATE: To quote Emily Litella, "Never mind."

Hooray, Hypocrisy!

Let's just think about this for a second:

"I will veto any legislation that weakens current federal policies and laws on abortion, or that encourages the destruction of human life at any stage."

Well, except for that stage, of course. That one doesn't count.

Your Friends & Neighbors

I played an initially rousing game of e-tag with GF's neighbor's girlfriend since meeting her that fateful Friday. This was somewhat awkward, seeing as GF has yet to meet either of these people that live above her while I recently ran into the neighbor while smoking outside. Considering that his girlfriend had told me her beau actually doubted the story of that Friday and thought she had drank his beer (one beer, mind you), I was a little disturbed when one of the first things he said to me after introducing myself was, "Yeah ... heard you had a cold one."

He smiled when he said this, but I can't imagine what I looked like. It seemed a tad bit awkward to mention so randomly. GF was rather put off by this as well. "I'm not sure I even want to meet this guy," she said.

I tried to give the man the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he doesn't buy beer all that often, perhaps. In an effort to make up for the single beer, I purchased one of the oversized cans at the local liquor store to give the neighbor the next time I encountered him.

Now, on the one hand, I could just forget about this and hope I never run into these people except for the occasional passing in the complex. On the other hand, there's the matter of these e-mails from the neighbor's girlfriend—the correspondence accelerated by "really great" news about an e-mail she'd received that "might be just what the dr [sic] ordered."

Without any details about the contents of said e-mail, I still raised my hopes that maybe this girl had stumbled upon something promising. I guess I should have known better.

I get e-mails all the time from senders named things like "Careers" or "recruting" who refer to me by using my middle name as though it were my surname. I would assume anybody else who receives similar offers would delete them just as I do.

Instead, after going back and forth with e-mails about when I could stop by or vice versa, the girl instead slipped the "really great" offer under GF's door one day while we were out. Indeed, the pay they were talking about freelance writing was "really great." But upon GF typing the company's name into a search engine, the very first popular link had the company's name followed by the word "scam."

"That can't be good," GF said. She clicked the link, taking us to a site I was unfortunately familiar with when I had investigated a similar offer that showed up in my e-mail. That job, of course, was defended by an individual claiming the online college was comparable with "most Ivy League" schools he's attended. You tell me.

So I relayed the bad news, via e-mail of course, to the neighbor's girlfriend. I haven't heard back from her since.

And the beer for her boyfriend still sits in its bag in GF's fridge.

Now, on the one hand ...