Week Three Power Rankings

I finished in second place for the pool last week (out of 16), going 12-4 with my picks and earning 114 points for the week. Additionally, the fellow who finished in first place for the week in the pool had been in dead last for the overall standings, so my performance helped move me up to a tie for second overall on the year (out of 16) at 313 points, only five behind the leader.

The big winner in predictions last week, however, was the bro-in-law with a 14-2 mark on his picks. Next best was Jason Cole from the Yahoo experts at 13-3—a record that Ron Jaworski of the ESPN bunch likely would have had as well had he submitted a pick for Monday's Dallas victory, but instead Jaws finished at 12-3. ESPN's Adam Schefter joined me at 12-4 for the week, while his co-workers Mike Golic, Merril Hoge, Chris Mortensen and Seth Wickersham all finished 11-5—as did Yahoo's Charles Robinson and Michael Silver. ESPN's Mark Schlereth and Eric Allen both went 10-6, while poor Pete Prisco of CBS Sports once again came up last with his 9-7 set of predictions.

Now, on the year (numbers in parentheses indicating where the dude stood in the rankings last week):

1. (1) Chris Mortensen, ESPN: 36-12 (.750)
2. (2) Charles Robinson, Yahoo: 35-13 (.729)
2. (4) Adam Schefter, ESPN: 35-13 (.729)
4. (3) Mike Golic, ESPN: 34-13 (.723)
5. (11) LEV, crazy colored glasses: 34-14 (.708)
5. (5) YOURS TRULY: 34-14 (.708)
7. (10) Ron Jaworski, ESPN: 31-14 (.689)
8. (11) Jason Cole, Yahoo: 33-15 (.688)
8. (5) Merril Hoge, ESPN: 33-15 (.688)
10. (5) Mark Schlereth, ESPN: 32-16 (.667)
10. (8) Seth Wickersham, ESPN: 32-16 (.667)
12. (8) Eric Allen, ESPN: 31-17 (.646)
12. (11) Michael Silver, Yahoo: 31-17 (.625)
14. (14) Pete Prisco, CBS Sports: 28-20 (.583)

Of course, the big news last week was that the Detroit Lions finally did win a game, so that certainly must mean that they will likely not be enjoying a season filled with being 16-point bets against them for the entire year (... maybe). Indeed, they'll have to find a different route to the top this season, while my bottom three just seems to be getting further entrenched into their securely held spots of suckdom:

1. (2) ST. LOUIS RAMS

• Last week: Lost to Green Bay, 36-17 (+11)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 39
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +39
  
• Just sayin':

What could be more encouraging than inheriting the dubious title of "the new Lions"?

1. (3) BUFFALO BILLS

• Last week: Lost to New Orleans, 27-7 (+13)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 10
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +39
  
• Just sayin':

Your lesson in cause & effect for the week: Bills lose home game = more arrests in Buffalo.

3. (5) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

• Last week: Lost to New York Giants, 24-0 (+15)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 34
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +34
  
• Just sayin':

Bring on the switch at QB in Tampa, as after a mere three weeks, they're saying the season is already lost.

4. (5) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

• Last week: Beat Buffalo, 27-7 (+13)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 32
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +32
  
• Just sayin':

Sean Payton's early answer to critics thinking the Saints' fate is solely determined by Drew Brees: 222 yards rushing against Buffalo and all three touchdowns scored on the ground.

5. (13) CAROLINA PANTHERS

• Last week: Lost to Dallas, 21-7 (+16)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 31
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +31
• Just sayin':

They're using the term "malaise" when describing the Panthers. That's a term that became synonymous with Jimmy Carter for a speech he made right before getting voted out of office (although the word was never actually in the text for the speech).

6. (12) BALTIMORE RAVENS

• Last week: Beat Cleveland, 34-3 (+14)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
  
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 30
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +30
• Just sayin':

They're moving on up the chart here, but ESPN's more conventionally logical Power Rankings has had them on top of the league for a couple of weeks now.

7. (11) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

• Last week: Lost to Philadelphia, 34-14 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +29
  
• Just sayin':

Sending Tyler Thigpen off to Miami and their QB situation in general would be a bigger issue if not for the more glaring problems on the offensive line.

8. (15) NEW YORK GIANTS

• Last week: Beat Tampa Bay, 24-0 (+15)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 27
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +27
  
• Just sayin':

If I haven't mentioned my inaugural fantasy football team much, that's mostly due to me starting that endeavor 0-3. Good news on that front is that Ahmad Bradshaw sounds like he's becoming New York's No. 1 guy on the ground, so maybe that will help me (but probably not).

8. (16) DALLAS COWBOYS

• Last week: Beat Carolina, 21-7 (+16)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 25
• Points scored for me with losses: 2
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +27
• Just sayin':

Tony Romo seems to get all of the attention, but it's Big D's running game that's really going to get the earliest test.

10. (16) CLEVELAND BROWNS

• Last week: Lost to Baltimore, 34-3 (+14)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 25
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +25
• Just sayin':

The Josh Cribbs argument isn't all that bad, actually. I mean, how could you really make it any worse in Cleveland?

11. (5) MINNESOTA VIKINGS

• Last week: Beat San Francisco, 27-24 (+5)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 24
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +24
  
• Just sayin':

Big Daddy Drew hilariously captures the conundrum involved with beings a Vikings fan last week.

11. (10) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

• Last week: Beat Miami, 23-13 (+6)
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 21
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 3
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +24
  
• Just sayin':

Just because San Diego remains a team I'm still iffy about, I instead present this video of former Charger Junior Seau getting run over by a bull:



13. (5) OAKLAND RAIDERS

• Last week: Lost to Denver, 23-3 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 4
• Points scored for me with losses: 19
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +23
  
• Just sayin':

There's the Raiders I know and love: "a textbook case of felony assault."

14. (1) DETROIT LIONS

• Last week: Beat Washington, 19-14 (-8)
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 29
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 8
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• Just sayin':

Last weekend's best headline.

14. (5) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

• Last week: Beat Arizona, 31-10 (+2)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 21
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• Just sayin':

So Dwight Freeney being out 2-3 weeks is ... good news?

14. (14) ATLANTA FALCONS

• Last week: Lost to New England, 26-10 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 14
• Points scored for me with losses: 7
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +21
  
• Just sayin':

The returns of Jerious Norwood and William Moore should help the actual team when facing the Niners after coming back from the bye week, although my fantasy team would appreciate that more celebrated version of Michael Turner (the one that scores, you know, touchdowns) showing up at some point.

17. (16) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

• Last week: Lost to Chicago, 25-19 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 12
• Points scored for me with losses: 9
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
  
• Plus/Minus: +20
• Just sayin':

Not exactly the early season symbolism I was expecting: a taped-up groin.

17. (20) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

• Last week: Beat Kansas City, 34-14 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 15
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 5
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +20
  
• Just sayin':

Is the third time a charm with Jeremiah Trotter? And does that mean Jeff Garcia gets to perform a mid-season rescue somewhere else?

19. (3) WASHINGTON REDSKINS

• Last week: Lost to Detroit, 19-14 (-8)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 16
• Points scored for me with losses: 10
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 8
• Plus/Minus: +18
  
• Just sayin':

Jim Zorn claims they're "getting better" at something, which is really remarkable after losing to a team that hadn't won since 2007.

20. (19) MIAMI DOLPHINS

• Last week: Lost to San Diego, 23-13 (+6)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 3-0
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 16
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +16
  
• Just sayin':

Three games into the year, Miami gets a QB quandary to wrestle with for ... oh, probably the rest of the season.

21. (21) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

• Last week: Beat Atlanta, 26-10 (+7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 23
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 11
• Plus/Minus: +12
• Just sayin':

I saw Brady getting a little pissed on the sidelines last Sunday and have to agree that the team "can't keep kicking field goals." Baltimore's probably not the best team to hope for the first signs of an offensive turnaround against though.

22. (23) DENVER BRONCOS

• Last week: Beat Oakland, 23-3 (+4)
  
• Actual Record: 2-0
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 2-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 11
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +5
  
• Just sayin':

How many of the Denver Broncos' 17 start-of-the-season starting quarterbacks can you name? (I got five—Elway and the four following him).

23. (27) CHICAGO BEARS

• Last week: Beat Seattle, 25-19 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 9
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 9
• Points taken from me with losses: 1
  
• Plus/Minus: -1
  
• Just sayin':

I almost feel as though I jinxed the team by classifying that linebacking corps among "the elite" in my season preview. Now that group's in "limbo."

24. (26) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

• Last week: Lost to Minnesota, 27-24 (+5)
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 5
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 8
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: -3
  
• Just sayin':

Department of Odd Coincidences: In the last three games San Francisco has blocked a field goal, the Niners lost all three games.

25. (24) PITTSBURGH STEELERS

• Last week: Lost to Cincinnati, 23-20 (-3)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
  
• My predicted record: 3-0
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 8
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 12
  
• Plus/Minus: -4
• Just sayin':

The World Champs have dropped two in a row and so now they're starting QB is going to ... host Monday Night Raw?

25. (29) GREEN BAY PACKERS

• Last week: Beat St. Louis, 36-17 (+11)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 11
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 1
• Points taken from me with losses: 14
  
• Plus/Minus: -4
  
• Just sayin':

Yeah, yeah, yeah ... Favre, Favre, Favre, blah, blah, blah. How about we talk about that fucking Donald Driver catch instead, no?:



27. (21) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

• Last week: Beat Houston, 31-24 (-10)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 11
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 10
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: -5
  
• Just sayin':

The good news in Jacksonville is that last week's upset of the Texans supposedly improved the Jags' playoff prospects more than any other team in the AFC. If you're actually willing to put money on that, then we should talk offline because I'd certainly bet against that.

28. (25) TENNESSEE TITANS

• Last week: Lost to New York Jets, 24-17 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 0-3
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 8
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 14
• Plus/Minus: -6
• Just sayin':

Yeah, well, at least Albert Haynesworth's problems are somebody else's problems now, right?

29. (28) ARIZONA CARDINALS

• Last week: Lost to Indianapolis, 31-10 (+2)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 1-2
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 2
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 6
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 7
• Plus/Minus: -11
  
• Just sayin':

Sounds more along the lines of the story I was expecting from the defending NFC Champs this year: "Turning Victory Over to Defeat"

30. (30) NEW YORK JETS

• Last week: Beat Tennessee, 24-17 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 3-0
• My predicted record: 0-3
• My record at predicting their record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 17
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: -17
  
• Just sayin':

You can only wonder when I'm going to learn, but considering they travel to play undefeated New Orleans this week, I'm not making any promises. If nothing else, it'll just further this low-end ranking and give fans something else to bitch about.

31. (32) CINCINNATI BENGALS

• Last week: Beat Pittsburgh, 23-20 (-3)
  
• Actual Record: 2-1
• My predicted record: 1-2
• My record at predicting their record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 17
• Points taken from me with losses: 6
• Plus/Minus: -23
  
• Just sayin':

Best not to forget what happened two years ago as the Bengals have not been the usual "Bungles" of yesteryear (yet).

32. (31) HOUSTON TEXANS

• Last week: Lost to Jacksonville, 31-24 (-10)
  
• Actual Record: 1-2
• My predicted record: 2-1
• My record at predicting their record: 0-3
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 13
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 15
  
• Plus/Minus: -28
  
• Just sayin':

Meet the potentially record-setting defense.

My record by point value this season, with losing percentages only for two slots right now and still seeking my first one-point win:

16-point games: 3-0
15-point games: 3-0
14-point games: 2-1
13-point games: 2-1
12-point games: 3-0
11-point games: 2-1
10-point games: 2-1
9-point games: 2-1
8-point games: 2-1
7-point games: 2-1
6-point games: 1-2
5-point games: 2-1
4-point games: 3-0
3-point games: 2-1
2-point games: 3-0
1-point games: 0-3