Thursday, September 04, 2014

2014 NFL Predictions: “People who make no noise are dangerous”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's been a while, but yes, the baby's doing fine. And so is the wife. Fatherhood's a total joy, of course. Rest of the family? Well, that's another—

What's that? Football picks? Oh, right. 

What with all the time I've dedicated to preparing for fantasy football over these past few months (i.e. mock drafts killing my cell phone battery), I've kind of forgotten how this whole "blogging" thing works. (Rest assured, there won't be any blogging about said fantasy football team this year ... or any fantasy team ... ever again, I assume.)

If I remember correctly, this is the time of year in which I submit my annual supposedly thoughtful stabs at where each team is going to finish and how the postseason will play out. Of course, I've admitted in recent years that I have no idea on occasion and just want to crank out some total guesses. However, I should point out that I did get six of the eight division winners right last year, in addition to correctly identifying the Super Bowl loser.

So, you know, hooray me.

I'm thinking this year will fall somewhere in between those two extremes. I'm guessing that once again, my AFC predictions will be very similar to what's already being commonly predicted, and then I'll take a chance or two in the NFC. Maybe. I don't know yet. I really am just winging it here.

I'm typing this on lunch breaks at work, so this will be anything but expanded thoughts. Probably no more than a couple sentences for each division and maybe one statement at the end for the ultimate predicted big winner (which I honestly have not yet decided).

I would spend more time on this if we had internet access at our current home in lovely Waller, Texas, but alas, we're still waiting for that sort of technology to be established. Trust me, I've brought the issue up multiple times, and the wife, to her credit has been even more vocal than I. The entire problem is, of course, entirely the fault of—oh, right.

I'll stick to the football.

AFC East


New England Patriots






Miami Dolphins







New York Jets







Buffalo Bills







Same story as every year: Pats are clear-cut choice to win division and the remaining three spots are a fustercluck. Last year I got all three wrong. I could see the Jets finishing ahead of Miami.




AFC North


Pittsburgh Steelers






Baltimore Ravens






Cincinnati Bengals







Cleveland Browns





Least confident pick of any division in the AFC, but I'm thinking the Steelers build off last year's strong finish. Ravens or Bengals could contend, while Cleveland will probably get the most attention all year because of Johnny Football.



AFC South


Indianapolis Colts






Houston Texans







Tennessee Titans






Jacksonville Jaguars





Much like the AFC North, couldn't feel more confident about the team on top and couldn't feel less confident about the three teams on the bottom. I think the Colts will finish with the best record in the conference and I'm taking the Texans to surprise everybody and make the playoffs.



AFC West


Denver Broncos






San Diego Chargers






Kansas City Chiefs







Oakland Raiders





This is pretty much the universally anticipated outcome. Broncos are strong contenders to get back to the Super Bowl, the Bolts should remain competitive, the Chiefs are expected to regress, and the Raiders will still be, well, the Raiders.



NFC East


New York Giants






Philadelphia Eagles






Washington [football team]





Dallas Cowboys






First real upset pick, in a division I never get right anyway. My logic is a combination of Eli Manning having a bounce back year while Nick Foles struggles to replicate the success he enjoyed last season. Feel fairly confident that neither Washington nor Dallas will come close to sniffing the playoffs.



NFC North


Green Bay Packers






Chicago Bears






Detroit Lions







Minnesota Vikings






Really wanted to pick the Bears to win the division outright, but I used the Aaron Rodgers-getting-hurt reasoning last year (and then no team capitalized on it when it actually happened). I don't think Green Bay suffers that kind of setback this season, and Chicago will come up a game or two short of winning the division, although I think they'll get in the playoffs. Detroit will be interesting to follow with a new head coach, and I can't completely write off Minnesota if Teddy Bridgewater gets the chance to start this year.



NFC South


New Orleans Saints







Tampa Bay Buccaneers







Carolina Panthers







Atlanta Falcons






Again, tempted to put the team I've got listed in second as the winner. However, my uncertainty about how Lovie handles the offense in Tampa prevents me from picking them to win this division even though I think that defense is going to be awesome. The Saints should run fairly roughshod this year, while Cam Newton is going to struggle with a lack of receiving options in Carolina and the Falcons still have too many holes to fill.



NFC West


Seattle Seahawks






San Francisco 49ers






Arizona Cardinals







St. Louis Rams





Undoubtedly the toughest division in the league, top to bottom. As much as I want to pick a team other than Seattle, the lack of changes from last year's championship roster makes them a logical pick. San Fran will compete again, even if the Niners start slow. The Cardinals are going to have to overcome some losses to last year's very good defense, but I think they'll still finish just ahead of a Rams team that will also boast a terrific defense, but is lacking, oh, a quarterback.



Wild Card Playoffs


#3 Broncos over #6 Texans





#5 Ravens over #4 Steelers





#3 Seahawks over #6 Bears





#5 49ers over #4 Giants





Divisional Playoffs



#1 Colts over #5 Ravens








#2 Patriots over #3 Broncos








#5 49ers over #1 Saints








#2 Packers over #3 Seahawks






Conference Championships




#2 Patriots over #1 Colts









#5 49ers over #2 Packers







Super Bowl XLIX





Patriots over 49ers



I guess the addendum to the title of this post refers (in addition to the tremendous amount of noise this off-season) to the fact that I don't think a lot of people are giving the Patriots enough of a chance. My original choice this year was the Colts behind an MVP performance from Andrew Luck. I then transitioned to thinking that the Seahawks would finally be the team that repeats. Then I toyed with picking the Niners. Finally, I've decided on New England because something just tells me that after a year in which the Pats struggled with so many injuries, they'll be healthy and deadly all year long. And along the way, the once annual presumptive favorites will raise the Lombardi Trophy one more time in a year when everyone will be talking about Peyton Manning and Denver.

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