Week Nine Power Rankings

Since everything I say here of late just seems to come back to bite me in the ass, I'll be a little more careful with my words this week. I don't have too much to boast about after going 6-7 with my picks for the second straight week, but only managing to put together 56 points this time around which was good enough to earn me 10th place for the week (out of 13). That brought me to 734 points on the year and somehow I miraculously remain in second place overall for the year (out of 17).

I'm certainly hoping that this final week of byes ends the skid I've been on for the past three, four weeks now and maybe I can regain the mid-season hot streak I had last year. We shall see, I suppose. If nothing else, I guess I can take some comfort in a fantasy football win, whatever that's worth.

Everybody else I've been comparing my straight-up picks to fared far better than me last weekend, with the bro-in-law as well as Eric Allen, Mike Golic, Merrill Hoge and Mark Schlereth from ESPN all leading the way with 10-3 records. Yahoo's Michael Silver, Pete Prico of CBS Sports and Seth Wickersham all went 9-4, while Chris Mortensen, Adam Schefter, Jason Cole and Charles Robinson all went 8-5. Ron Jaworski broke even going 6-6, leaving me alone in last for the week.

Now, on the year (numbers in parentheses still indicating where the dude stood in the rankings last week):

1. (1) Chris Mortensen, ESPN: 89-40 (.690)
1. (5) Merril Hoge, ESPN: 89-40 (.690)
3. (2) Adam Schefter, ESPN: 88-41 (.682)
3. (2) Charles Robinson, Yahoo: 88-41 (.682)
3. (5) Michael Silver, Yahoo: 88-41 (.682)
3. (7) Mark Schlereth, ESPN: 88-41 (.682)
7. (8) Mike Golic, ESPN: 87-41 (.680)
8. (4) Ron Jaworski, ESPN: 80-40 (.667)
8. (10) LEV, crazy colored glasses: 86-43 (.667)
10. (10) Jason Cole, Yahoo: 84-45 (.651)
10. (12) Seth Wickersham, ESPN: 84-45 (.651)
12. (9) YOURS TRULY: 83-46 (.643)
12. (13) Eric Allen, ESPN: 83-46 (.643)
14. (14) Pete Prisco, CBS Sports: 79-50 (.612)

Yep, that's depressing.

Anyway, let's see where I can point the finger to assign blame—or probably just link to interesting/entertaining anecdotes:

1. (1) ST. LOUIS RAMS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 1-7
• My predicted record: 0-8
• My record at predicting their record: 7-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: +83
• Points taken from me with wins: -6
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +77
  

It's never too late to second-guess and wonder what might have been in St. Louis.

2. (3) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

• Last week: Beat Houston, 20-17 (+8)
  
• Actual Record: 8-0
• My predicted record: 8-0
• My record at predicting their record: 8-0
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +72
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +72
  

Peter King performs fellatio has an article on Peyton Manning this week. You have to wonder how Brett Favre feels about this.

3. (1) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

• Last week: Beat Green Bay, 38-28 (-13)
  
• Actual Record: 1-7
• My predicted record: 0-8
• My record at predicting their record: 7-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: +77
• Points taken from me with wins: -13
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +64
  

I don't know how to take it when the conclusion being made is that the retro creamsicle jerseys are the "color of hope" for Tampa.

3. (3) CLEVELAND BROWNS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 1-7
• My predicted record: 0-8
• My record at predicting their record: 7-1
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: +71
• Points taken from me with wins: -7
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +64

Eric Mangini sees similarities between Cleveland and the 2000 Patriots, believing the Browns could become the team of the decade—just not this one.

5. (6) DETROIT LIONS

• Last week: Lost to Seattle, 32-20 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 1-7
• My predicted record: 1-7
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: +76
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -8
• Points taken from me with losses: -6
  
• Plus/Minus: +62
  

Tackle of the year?

6. (8) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

• Last week: Beat Carolina, 30-20 (+11)
  
• Actual Record: 8-0
• My predicted record: 6-2
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +59
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: -2
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +57
  

In case you didn't realize that this year's Saints are better than last year's Saints, midway through this current campaign the team has already matched last season's win total and have already have more takeaways.

7. (8) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

• Last week: Lost to Jacksonville, 24-21 (+6)
  
• Actual Record: 1-7
• My predicted record: 1-7
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: +59
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -5
• Points taken from me with losses: -2
  
• Plus/Minus: +52
  

Larry Johnson said on the Dan Patrick Show that he "felt like it was just time" to move on and proceeded to blame just about everybody and everything else for his release. Of course, he'd still like to come back and break the team's all-time rushing record—a sentiment that apparently is not shared by many fans in K.C.

8. (12) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

• Last week: Beat Detroit, 32-20 (+12)
  
• Actual Record: 3-5
• My predicted record: 5-3
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
• Points scored for me with wins: +27
• Points scored for me with losses: +31
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
• Points taken from me with losses: -7
  
• Plus/Minus: +51

Nate Burleson guarantees victory against Arizona. What could go wrong?

9. (11) WASHINGTON REDSKINS

• Last week: Lost to Atlanta, 31-17 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 3-5
• My predicted record: 5-3
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +25
• Points scored for me with losses: +38
  
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -13
• Plus/Minus: +50
  

The Skins of yesteryear continue to pop up this year, as last week it was John Riggins ripping Daniel Snyder and this week it's speculation about making Russ Grimm the next head coach.

10. (5) DALLAS COWBOYS

• Last week: Beat Philadelphia, 20-16 (-5)
  
• Actual Record: 6-2
• My predicted record: 5-3
• My record at predicting their record: 7-1
• Points scored for me with wins: +49
• Points scored for me with losses: +4
• Points taken from me with wins: -5
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +48

Can't Jason Witten get a freaking Cowboys fan to take him to school?

10. (7) OAKLAND RAIDERS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 2-6
• My predicted record: 1-7
• My record at predicting their record: 7-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +4
• Points scored for me with losses: +58
• Points taken from me with wins: -14
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
  
• Plus/Minus: +48
  

When that new L.A.-area stadium gets built, maybe it actually will be the Raiders that return to the City of Angels—at least if this keeps up.

12. (15) ATLANTA FALCONS

• Last week: Beat Washington, 31-17 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 5-3
• My predicted record: 4-4
• My record at predicting their record: 7-1
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +26
• Points scored for me with losses: +22
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -3
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +45
  

Michael who? Tony Gonzalez isn't likely to be involved in any dog fighting rings, considering he and his wife just threw the loons at PETA a bone by posing naked together for an anti-fur campaign:


13. (16) CAROLINA PANTHERS

• Last week: Lost to New Orleans, 30-20 (+10)
  
• Actual Record: 3-5
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +18
  
• Points scored for me with losses: +41
• Points taken from me with wins: -8
• Points taken from me with losses: -7
  
• Plus/Minus: +44

Steve Smith on pace for record low season as Carolina's air attack continues to struggle.

14. (10) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

• Last week: Beat New York Giants, 21-20 (-4)
  
• Actual Record: 5-3
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +34
  
• Points scored for me with losses: +13
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -6
  
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +41
  

The Bolts have the highest-paid pair of running backs in the NFL, yet San Diego ranks last in rushing yards per game and yards per carry.

15. (14) MINNESOTA VIKINGS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 7-1
• My predicted record: 5-3
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +41
• Points scored for me with losses: +4
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -8
• Points taken from me with losses: 0
• Plus/Minus: +37
  

I'm pretty far from being a Jared Allen fan, but I can respect the guy's ability and how can I argue with the belief that "if someone asks if you want extra mayonnaise, you have to say 'yes'. 'Cause that's part of it."

16. (18) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

• Last week: Beat Miami, 27-17 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 6-2
• My predicted record: 7-1
• My record at predicting their record: 5-3
• Points scored for me with wins: +54
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -3
• Points taken from me with losses: -15
• Plus/Minus: +36

Maybe it's just my Bears bias showing, but that, my friends, is no Super Bowl Shuffle.

17. (12) NEW YORK GIANTS

• Last week: Lost to San Diego, 21-20 (-4)
  
• Actual Record: 5-4
• My predicted record: 9-0
• My record at predicting their record: 5-4
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +55
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: 0
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -20
• Plus/Minus: +35
  

Is it unfair to have such high expectations for a guy you made the highest-paid player in the league?

18. (17) PITTSBURGH STEELERS

• Last week: Beat Denver, 28-10 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 6-2
  
• My predicted record: 7-1
• My record at predicting their record: 5-3
• Points scored for me with wins: +44
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: -1
• Points taken from me with losses: -12
  
• Plus/Minus: +31

Furthering my theory that Big Ben is the next Brett Favre in terms of the league's media darling, Roethlisberger submerged himself in self-pity by saying he "wasn't the best teammate" early in his career and then—naturally—all of his teammates showered him with praise.

19. (24) MIAMI DOLPHINS

• Last week: Lost to New England, 27-17 (+9)
  
• Actual Record: 3-5
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 6-2
• Points scored for me with wins: +2
• Points scored for me with losses: +25
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -3
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -1
  
• Plus/Minus: +23
  

If the Fins aren't resembling the division contender they were last year, it's probably because they have something this season that they didn't a year ago: Injuries.

20. (21) BUFFALO BILLS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 3-5
• My predicted record: 2-6
• My record at predicting their record: 5-3
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +10
• Points scored for me with losses: +37
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -18
• Points taken from me with losses: -7
• Plus/Minus: +22
  

The good news for Bills fans: Trent Edwards will be starting again! The bad news: Terrell Owens is day-to-day.

21. (18) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

• Last week: Lost to Tennessee, 34-27 (-7)
  
• Actual Record: 3-5
• My predicted record: 2-6
• My record at predicting their record: 5-3
• Points scored for me with wins: +11
  
• Points scored for me with losses: +24
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -8
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -7
  
• Plus/Minus: +20
  

Sure hope Vernon Davis can walk the walk because, boy can he talk the talk.

22. (20) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

• Last week: Lost to Dallas, 20-16 (-5)
  
• Actual Record: 5-3
• My predicted record: 6-2
• My record at predicting their record: 5-3
• Points scored for me with wins: +37
  
• Points scored for me with losses: +5
• Points taken from me with wins: -5
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -19
  
• Plus/Minus: +18
  

Probably not what Philly fans want to hear as they head to the West Coast to play the Chargers: Joselio Hanson was suspended four games for using a "diuretic," leaving the Eagles with a few concerns about their CB situation.

23. (23) CHICAGO BEARS

• Last week: Lost to Arizona, 41-21 (-2)
  
• Actual Record: 4-4
• My predicted record: 7-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-5
• Points scored for me with wins: +33
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: -9
• Points taken from me with losses: -9
  
• Plus/Minus: +15
  

Precisely the type of story I feared we'd get going into San Fran: Former Bear/current Niners head coach (and as a member of the revered 1985 championship squad, still beloved and celebrated my many a meatball in Chicago) Mike Singletary expressed interest in coaching his former team.

24. (25) BALTIMORE RAVENS

• Last week: Lost to Cincinnati, 17-7 (-3)
  
• Actual Record: 4-4
  
• My predicted record: 7-1
• My record at predicting their record: 3-5
  
• Points scored for me with wins: +30
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: -2
• Points taken from me with losses: -18
• Plus/Minus: +10

Steve Hauschka is learning that it's rough being a placekicker.

25. (22) GREEN BAY PACKERS

• Last week: Lost to Cincinnati, 17-7 (-13)
  
• Actual Record: 4-4
• My predicted record: 6-2
• My record at predicting their record: 4-4
• Points scored for me with wins: +34
• Points scored for me with losses: +5
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -1
• Points taken from me with losses: -31
  
• Plus/Minus: +7
  

Now that their season series with the Vikings is over, you'd think the Pack had heard the last F-word for the year but sure enough ... ("That train's never late!")

26. (28) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

• Last week: Beat Kansas City, 24-21 (+6)
  
• Actual Record: 4-4
• My predicted record: 4-4
• My record at predicting their record: 4-4
• Points scored for me with wins: +14
  
• Points scored for me with losses: +14
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -17
• Points taken from me with losses: -7
• Plus/Minus: +4
  

It may just look like they switched the three and the four on the type of defensive scheme they're employing, but it appears to be getting results for the Jags. (OK, against the Chiefs.)

27. (26) DENVER BRONCOS

• Last week: Lost to Pittsburgh, 28-10 (-1)
  
• Actual Record: 6-2
• My predicted record: 6-2
• My record at predicting their record: 4-4
• Points scored for me with wins: +15
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: -10
• Points taken from me with losses: -3
  
• Plus/Minus: +2
  

I don't want to say it's time to panic in Denver yet (they're 6-2 and still lead the AFC West after all), but Woody Paige is calling for Chris Simms to start against Washington.

28. (27) TENNESSEE TITANS

• Last week: Beat San Francisco, 34-27 (-7)
  
• Actual Record: 2-6
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 3-5
• Points scored for me with wins: 0
• Points scored for me with losses: +24
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -8
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -21
• Plus/Minus: -5

Justin Gage is still hurting, but I don't see that being too big of a concern this week considering the Titans still have the league's leading rusher, Chris Johnson, when the league's worst rushing defense comes into town this week.

28. (29) HOUSTON TEXANS

• Last week: Lost to Indianapolis, 20-17 (+8)
  
• Actual Record: 5-4
• My predicted record: 5-4
• My record at predicting their record: 5-4
• Points scored for me with wins: +17
• Points scored for me with losses: +13
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -20
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -15
  
• Plus/Minus: -5
  

Considering it happened in the first half, I wouldn't rush to label it as something the team couldn't recover from but it sure does sound like the Texans got kinda hosed against the Colts. You still need to make those field goals.

30. (30) NEW YORK JETS

• Last week: BYE
  
• Actual Record: 4-4
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 3-5
• Points scored for me with wins: +8
  
• Points scored for me with losses: +7
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -17
• Points taken from me with losses: -14
  
• Plus/Minus: -16
  

I guess Jacksonville evokes some pretty painful memories in Jets fans.

31. (31) ARIZONA CARDINALS

• Last week: Beat Chicago, 41-21 (-2)
  
• Actual Record: 5-3
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 2-6
• Points scored for me with wins: +5
• Points scored for me with losses: +2
  
• Points taken from me with wins: -24
  
• Points taken from me with losses: -15
• Plus/Minus: -32
  

Anquan Boldin's over it and you should be too.

32. (32) CINCINNATI BENGALS

• Last week: Beat Baltimore, 17-7 (-3)
  
• Actual Record: 6-2
• My predicted record: 3-5
• My record at predicting their record: 1-7
• Points scored for me with wins: +10
  
• Points scored for me with losses: 0
• Points taken from me with wins: -31
• Points taken from me with losses: -13
• Plus/Minus: -34
  

Ochocinco's been denied his idea of sending mustard to Pittsburgh as a taunt, but since Cincy's still in my Power Cellar, instead this space is reserved for a link to this very short story about the NFL possibly being recession-proof and ending with this paragraph:

On the verge of a CBA meltdown, an uncapped year, a possible lockout, and a very different business model, the NFL will have to find new ways to draw viewers and make money from that viewership. As it has many times before, television may be pro football's saving grace.

And while most everything above seven points is acceptable, my record on some of the lower point games most certainly is not:

16-point games: 3-0
15-point games: 3-0
14-point games: 4-2
13-point games: 7-2
12-point games: 9-0
11-point games: 7-2
10-point games: 7-2
9-point games: 8-1
8-point games: 6-3
7-point games: 3-6
6-point games: 5-4
5-point games: 5-4
4-point games: 5-4
3-point games: 3-6
2-point games: 6-3
1-point games: 2-7