Week Eight Picks

I'm in a bit of a rush this week, what with the sudden vacation I'm about to go on. Anyway, it turns out that the suicide pool does not begin until next week, so there won't be any pictures of young girls with guns pointed at their heads this week. Sorry about that, but, hey, next week.

Instead, I offer you something I never I would have imagined seeing my list of picks kick off with:

14 points
Houston Texans (2-4) over Cincinnati Bengals (0-7)

Yes, there you have it folks. There are two winless teams in this league and I'll keep betting big against them until they give me a reason not to. And let's hope it's not this week that those teams get lucky, because ...

13 points
Washington Redskins (5-2) over Detroit Lions (0-6)

I give the Lions a better chance at the upset only because they're at home and the Bengals are on the road. But I'll stick with the safe bet that they both lose.

12 points
Carolina Panthers (5-2) over Arizona Cardinals (4-2)

And here's another seemingly dangerous pick, as the Cardinals have already burned me, oh, a few times already this season. Still, Carolina's just the superior team here.

11 points
Baltimore Ravens (3-3) over Oakland Raiders (2-4)

The Ravens' defense is pretty good and has played even better when they're at home.

10 points
San Francisco 49ers (2-5) over Seattle Seahawks (1-5)

Could be interesting to watch only if Mike Holmgren actually leaves the Seattle sideline to interview for the job in San Fran next season.

9 points
New York Jets (3-3) over Kansas City Chiefs (1-5)

I keep wanting to believe the Chiefs are going to surprise us one of these weeks, but it's not likely to happen in New York.

Oh, and Brett Favre is a fucker. Please, make him go away while there's still hope I can remember him in some favorable light ... somewhere.

8 points
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-2) over Dallas Cowboys (4-3)

Wade Phillips' Last Stand?


7 points
New England Patriots (4-2) over St. Louis Rams (2-4)

The Rams turnaround is cute and all, but they're literally out of their element on the road in Boston.

6 points
Philadelphia Eagles (3-3) over Atlanta Falcons (4-2)

It's more of a "must win" for Philly, while even the Falcons themselves have to be surprised they're four and freaking two.

5 points
Buffalo Bills (5-1) over Miami Dolphins (2-4)

If Buffalo's going to really win their division, they'll have to putting some distance between them and the other teams in it. Miami's as good a spot to start as any.

4 points
Jacksonville Jaguars (3-3) over Cleveland Browns (2-4)

Really, really thought about betting on the Browns, but nobody else has picked them and it's another oppenent the Jags should be able to beat.

3 points
Pittsburgh Steelers (5-1) over New York Giants (5-1)

It's in Pittsburgh and the represents the Giants' first real test. Big Ben could get roughed up, but he's on the biggest stage of the weekend—unless you're counting that game overseas ...

2 points
New Orleans Saints (3-4) over San Diego Chargers (3-4)

I'll buy into that theory about Drew Brees really wanting to stick it to his old employer.

1 point
Indianapolis Colts (3-3) over Tennessee Titans (6-0)

Yeah, so while I'm saying how I'll bet big against the winless teams, I also go as little as possible against the lone unbeaten team. Here's to hoping I'm celebrating my genius next week ...